After 6 years, I was pregnant on my 41st birthday. 2 weeks into the pregnancy I knew I was pregnant even before I did the test. I felt it in my body and my mind. I suddenly wanted to be around children and babies and I noticed a heightened feeling of protection around children in general. I still remember being in complete shock staring at the 2 pink lines. This may sound strange but even after all those years of trying when I found out I was pregnant, I was momentarily unsure as to whether this was what I really wanted.

Sadly I miscarried at 7 weeks, just 4 weeks after I did the test. It sent my head into a complete spin. Because it was such a short space of time, I hadn’t even had a chance to unravel how I felt about being pregnant before I lost it again. At this point I found that the therapy I previously had really helped me to slowly understand my thoughts and feelings, I think I would have struggled otherwise. I felt myself let go and came away from the event thinking that perhaps it was just not the right time and also feeling slightly in awe that I could actually get pregnant after being told by so many practitioners that it was ‘highly unlikely’. I felt if it was meant to be then it would happen again and 6 months later I was pregnant again. This time I had a dream that I was pregnant and my closest friend had also just found out she was pregnant as well. Again I felt it in my body and knew before I did the test. I wasn’t in shock when I saw the 2 pink lines, I felt overwhelming joy and I knew this was the right time.

Pregnancy has been the most beautiful journey I have ever experienced and everyday I am grateful that I was given the chance to discover it. Like most women I never really knew what it involved until I was there. People talk a lot about the physical changes (mostly in a negative light), the sickness, the cramps, the swollen feet, the heat, the tiredness, the weight gain, the labour but people rarely talk about the mental and emotional changes that take place in a woman as she transitions and prepares for motherhood. It can be a bit of a roller coaster and as with all other significant life events (such as births, deaths, marriage, divorce, milestone birthdays) it has a tendency to trigger reflective thoughts, doubts and questions. These are all perfectly normal but can be challenging if there are unconscious issues that haven’t been recognised. Here are a few things I did that helped with my own personal transition from woman to mother:

Do a Hypnobirthing course. I found it invaluable, providing me with several tools and techniques to prepare for birth. Coming from a mainly medical background, I liked the balance it gave me of looking at birth in a more natural but down to earth way. It also made me aware of the non-standard options available, helping me make a more informed decision on the type of birth I wanted. If this isn’t something in your budget you can still use the tips below as many are included in the Hypnobirthing courses.
Read the Positive Birth Book. Down to earth and packed full of useful information this book is a must read.
Take time out to reflect on any doubts or fears. It can be helpful to write these down to ‘release’ them from your mind reducing anxiety and worries. For me, it was the loss of my independence, the girl I previously was and the change in responsibility that I felt the need to say goodbye to. I used meditation to help acknowledge and clear these thoughts allowing me to then embrace the change ahead.
Bond with your birth partner. For me this was my husband and he was my anchor through the whole pregnancy but it could be anyone from your mum to your best friend or even a Doula. Pregnancy can be such a deep experience it helps to share it with someone who will be there with you at the birth.
Daily deep breathing or relaxation exercises. Having previously experienced low grade anxiety I was aware when these thoughts and feelings started to creep in, add in poor sleep due to a growing bump and the fact that your whole life is about to change it’s not surprising that even the most calm and relaxed mother can feel a little anxious as pregnancy progresses. Taking time daily to reset and restore your nervous system - even if it’s just for 10 minutes can make a huge difference. There are several birthing affirmations and hypnobirthing playlists available on Spotify and Itunes you can listen to that can help calm your mind. I also used acupuncture in my last 5 weeks of pregnancy to relieve tension and prepare my energy for labour.
Do pregnancy yoga. Yoga is great to strengthen the body keeping it supple ready for labour and calm the mind. Many classes also provide useful information regarding labour positions, helpful postures and exercises to ease discomfort as pregnancy progresses. It’s also a great way of meeting new mums to be and sharing baby stuff! I’ve bought several things off mums in pregnancy yoga groups that have saved me money. I went to Joey’s pregnancy yoga and each class is always packed full of useful advice and tips, as well as having guest speakers that sometimes come in to share their experiences so well worth the money.
Stay active. If yoga is not your thing and you were previously quite sporty then you can try a pregnancy fitness class as long as you feel up to it and you haven’t been told otherwise by your doctor. Exercise helps you prepare for childbirth and support your body through labour. I found it also helped me retain some of my old routine, so many things change when you find out you’re pregnant it can be disconcerting. Keeping hold of some of them as I adapted to my new body helped to ground my mind. I went to Vicky Hill’s pregnancy fitness classes in my second trimester which I thoroughly enjoyed also with lots of well informed helpful pregnancy advice.
Talk to other mums to be! Whether in antenatal classes, yoga classes or friends and family it really helps to talk about anything that might be bothering you. It makes you feel less alone and that you’re not the only one going through it all. I was lucky to have a close friend 5 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy journey and it definitely helped to stop me from feeling like I was going mad sometimes!